Wedding Dress

Listen to the Lord Jesus and let Him lead you into a life of love. Your outward appearance reflects your inward devotion.

“Let your servant speak a word to my Lord the king.” “Speak,” he replied. The woman said, “Why then have you devised a thing like this…the king has not brought back his banished son? Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But that is not what God desires; rather, he devises ways so that a banished person does not remain banished from him. The king said to Joab, “Very well, I will do it…He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” Absalom lived two years in Jerusalem without seeing the king’s face. Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom.” 2 Samuel 14:12-33

There is a difference between how we love and how God loves. God’s love is not conditional nor does it hold any of us in contempt. God does not desire that we serve an eternal penalty nor that anything would keep us from our personal relationship with Him. Pause for a moment and consider your heart. Is there anything that has caused separation between you and God? Or you and others? What caused the conflict? Why is it still unresolved?

David did not know what to do to bridge the gap. He did what many of us do. He ignored the problem and hoped it would go away. Does that strategy ever work? Are we not deceiving ourselves when we pretend that things are perfect by ignoring the process of reconciliation?

David had banished his son and had no plans to bring him home. David mourned for Absalom because for all intents and purposes, Absalom was already dead to him. Do you have any relationships like this? Anyone you have written off or written out of your life? Even when he allowed Absalom to return, he did not make him feel loved. He boxed him out and never brought healing to the hurt. Are there any relationships that you are managing and never really mended? How could loving with a redemptive heart like God help?

“My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. I have calmed and quieted myself…I am content…put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.” Psalms 131:1-3

You can almost imagine how the conflict with his own son, Absalom, could have influenced how David penned this poem. David was a man who knew conflict and what often caused them to continue. What was his conflict checklist? A proud heart, self righteous eyes, and getting involved in things that are none of your business.

The proud heart is the opposite of the heart of humility. The proud heart requires others to apologize. The proud heart is offended easily and makes sure others know how they have been wronged. The proud heart is not open to feedback nor willing to forgive.

Haughty eyes similarly cause endless harm. There is an expression you can be right or you can be in relationship. Haughty eyes only see how they are right and do not seek to understand other perspectives. Steven Covey shared wisdom that it is better to seek to understand before being understood. Is that your approach?

David warns about getting involved in unnecessary conflict. Gossip can taste sweet to the lips, but never goes down smooth. Are you someone who wants to know what drama is going down or are you someone who prays peace over others? Have any of these three affected any of your relationships? How about your relationship with God? 

What is the antidote? How do we cure the sickness of sin and separation? David starts by practicing peace then commits to walking in God’s ways. When he sang I put my hope in God, he declared that he trusted in God for the outcome. He did not play God, He prayed to Him on behalf of others. He let all the pressure of the fear, anxiety, and need to control everything go. David made the decision to listen and love like God had shown him. He learned his lesson from his own fatherly failures with Absalom. Are you willing to let go and let God lead you in loving?

“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. Do you see a person wise in their own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for them. Like one who grabs a stray dog by the ears is someone who rushes into a quarrel not their own. Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. Whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them.”

Proverbs 26:4-27

Solomon said the fear of the Lord is beginning of wisdom. He was saying we should change our perspectives and approach. The question to ask yourself is whether you want to be wise in how you live and love. Do you want to love like Jesus? Many of Solomon's teachings in this chapter seem obvious to the naked eye, but ensnare even the sweetest saint. Offense and conflict are common to us all. Solomon gave us advice for how to get beyond the daily burdens and stay true to your Savior. 

What advice did he have?  Watch your words. Go to great lengths to avoid gossip. Water down the fires of fury and frustration with the healing balm of humility. Like David said, leave the outcomes to the Lord and consider how you can best be a person of love.  Are your words, actions, and attitude aligning with Jesus? Are you hoping for resolution or revenge? What is the state of your heart when it comes to others who have hurt you or any offense that has come your way? 

“Woe to the obstinate children,” declares the Lord, “to those who carry out plans that are not mine, not by my Spirit, heaping sin upon sin; children unwilling to listen to the Lord’s instruction…this sin will become for you like a high wall, cracked and bulging, that collapses suddenly…In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you…your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”” Isaiah 30:1-21

Isaiah tells us that our greatest troubles will come when we do not listen to the Lord nor follow His ways. He used the word obstinate. We can all picture an obstinate child who has arms crossed and refuses to do as they are told. God calls us to be open not obstinate. He says there is a slippery slope of sin where sin multiplies.  Is that not the truth? How often do we compound sin by trying to mask or manage it rather than repenting? 

The best part of the story of God’s love for his people is that His love is perfect and does not depend on our performance. He loves because God is love.  He is gracious even when we have been ungrateful.  The text says He longs to be compassionate and help restore right relationship with Him and with others. What do you see when you picture God? Do you see outstretched, loving arms? You should. 

Jesus said my sheep hear my voice. He said I’ve come to give you life and life abundantly. Consider taking time today to listen to Jesus. You will hear a voice that calls you to love. God promises that you can hear his voice. When you do listen, He says that in repentance and rest is your salvation. As you quiet your mind and heart, God will calm your fears. He will bring peace to the storm and hope to look above the horizon.  Where would you like more peace?

“Jesus spoke…The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his servants to those who had been invited…but they refused to come. Tell those who have been invited that…everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.’ “But they paid no attention and went off—one to his field, another to his business…the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, the bad as well as the good, and the wedding hall was filled with guests. “But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. He asked, ‘How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?’ The man was speechless…the Pharisees got together…Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:1-40

It is easy to overcomplicate the commands of Christ but if we listen to His words we can see the fundamentals of following Him are centered in love. Following Jesus is not about getting everything right or checking off a bunch of rules. It is not about never being angry nor having emotional responses to unkind actions. Following Jesus is responding to the invitation to receive and share love. He never promises that we will be free of offense, he opens the door to show us how we can overcome. He says take heart, I have overcome. He is saying that rather than turning to fight back, you should turn to me. As we do, we can love like He does. With patience, perseverance, and the right perspective that seeks to bring peace. 

The invitation today is to come to the wedding banquet. To choose to commit to a life of love, not when it is convenient or without conflict, but as we wait on the Lord to resolve our differences so we could walk in His ways. Jesus specifically called out the people that were too busy working their fields or focused on their own business to follow Him. How do those words impact you? How does hurry or worry build a wall that blocks the love of Christ flowing through you? 

Did you notice in the story how Jesus mentions the person who is not dressed in wedding clothes? It might seem like a small detail, but it speaks volumes about what God expects others to see when they see us. Why do you think the master called out that person? Have you ever not appropriately dressed for an occasion? It is awkward. In this story, the man's attire revealed his heart.

A. wedding is a place of celebration, connection, covenant, and community. Someone who was not dressed for the wedding was wearing the ill fitting clothes of gossip, condemnation, offense, anger, and hate. There is no place for any of these in the kingdom of heaven nor is there any place in the banquet feast. What you have in your heart will be reflected in what people see on the outside. What do others see when they see you? Do they see the clothes of compassion and fashion of forgiveness?

Jesus never gave us an out to say that we love God, but not love the people around us. He said others will know you follow me by how not if you love. He wove together like an intricate loom loving God with loving the people in your life. He does not give us any shortcuts, exceptions to the rule, nor ways out that would justify anything less than loving all people. He says love God and others with all of yourself. The word all really gets in the way of how we would prefer to live. If He had just said mostly, life would be so much easier. But, Jesus says all. Love with all. Love all.

You might ask how. How can I love when others are unloving. The answer is by the Spirit that strengthens you when you are weak. You were never meant to live or love on your own. You were made to bring love to the world as you are and as He overflows His loving compassion through you. You have strengths and gifts that can encourage, bring empathy, and enlighten the darkest days.

The call is to come and follow. The call is to break the chains of offense that hold you back and celebrate the love of Christ. The call is to have an open heart and open mind that looks at others as dearly love brothers and sisters. The call is listen to his voice and hear how. The call is to humble your heart and purify that pride that builds walls. Jesus calls us to bow down remembering that He bore our sins that we eternally belong to Him despite the sins that tried to separate us.

So get dressed, the banquet has already begun. Let Him bring the beauty of His love to you by putting on the sandals of peace, the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the pants of patience, the helmet of salvation, and the full fashion of forgiveness. Love with Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself so others will see Jesus when they see you.