Daily Doubt

How you deal with doubt will shape every day of your life.

“In the course of time, Nahash king of the Ammonites died, and his son succeeded him as king. David thought, “I will show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash, because his father showed kindness to me.” So David sent…his sympathy to Hanun…the Ammonite commanders said to Hanun, “Do you think David is honoring your father by sending envoys to you to express sympathy? Haven’t his envoys come to you only to explore and spy out the country and overthrow it?” So Hanun seized David’s envoys…When the Ammonites realized that they had become obnoxious to David, Hanun and the Ammonites sent a thousand talents of silver to hire chariots and charioteers…On hearing this, David sent Joab out with the entire army of fighting men. Joab said, “If the Arameans are too strong for me, then you are to rescue me; but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will rescue you. Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God…but they fled before Israel” 1 Chronicles 19:1-18

How do you deal with doubt? What doubts do you currently have? Are you wondering how things will work out or what others are thinking? Doubt is a natural part of life as a human.

Pay attention to how each person dealt with doubt. Hanun let fear turn a friend into an enemy and filled in the gap of doubt with fear. He listened to lies and assumed the worst. Ultimately, how he reacted became his reality. When we see people as enemies and treat them as such, it should be no surprise when they become what we thought about them.

Consider for a moment the implications of this. What happens when we look at and label people based on appearances or our own expectations? Is this the holy way? Is this what God wants from His people? Is it not better to listen and let love lead us?

There is quite the contrast within this chapter. Joab, the leader of David’s army, also had doubts, as does anyone entering a battle. But Joab handles doubt differently. He turns to his brother and makes a pact. He essentially says, if you need help, I will be there for you, and if I need help, you will be there for me. God made us to do life together so that doubt does not lead to separation.

How will you deal with the doubts you face? Will you be like the Ammonites and let fear fuel the fire? Look at the cost of listening to fear. The people end up paying a huge price trying to buy their way out of the mess. Do you see what is missing?

How about a simple apology? Humility. Admitting he messed up. What would have happened if Hanun had just said sorry and turned from his sinful ways? Would David not have remembered the good relationship with Hanun’s dad and understood that a grieving son let his emotions get the best of him? What if he had given David silver along with saying sorry? Would that not have soothed their relationship? Fear wants to keep the fight going. Love wants to lift us out of the crazy loop of conflict.

“Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed. He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me— God sends forth his love and his faithfulness. I am in the midst of lions; I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts— men whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth. My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.” Psalms 57:1-10

David wrote this song in a time of darkness when doubt was his everyday experience. He was on the run and hiding in a cave. King Saul and an army were actively hunting him. It is not a conspiracy theory if people are actually looking to hurt you. So what did David do? How did he deal with uncertain outcomes and enemies attacking him?

He turned to God. He spoke truth. He guarded his heart from focusing on what could go wrong and spoke of what would go right, knowing that God is faithful. What would happen if every time we were afraid, we took the time to compare our problems to the power of God? What would happen if, rather than speaking to God about our problems, we talked to our problems about our God?

When David did not know how things would work out, he just did what he knew he was made to do. He lived in his identity. God made David to be Shepherd, King, and Poet, and it was his last identity that became the first step to staying steadfast in his faith. He sang. He praised. He lifted up the name of the Lord because in the midst of doubt, there is always truth that can be the foundation for the way forward.

This is the key. Speak truth. Stand on the power and promises of God. Be who you are. Live in your strengths. Fear wants you to feel worthless and believe the worst. Love empowers and equips. When we focus on what we fear, we fall apart. When we do what Paul said in Philippians 4, fixing our minds on what is good, lovely, noble, and true, then we find life, peace, joy, and hope. What will you fix your mind on today?

“Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved? Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away…You who dwell in the gardens with friends in attendance, let me hear your voice!” Song of Songs 8:5-13

When we do not know what to do, we can find strength by thinking about God’s original design. God designed us to be people who lean on Him through the wilderness times and who listen to His voice as He guides us through hills and valleys. We were never meant to do life alone or in our own strength. Some of us have isolated ourselves and gone our own way. God is calling you back.

We are like the bride in the middle of the wilderness. We have no idea how things will unfold, but we do know that we can lean on the One who made us and knows what we need. Where do you need to let go of something you are carrying and lean on your Lord and Savior? Where do you need to be quiet and make room to spend time listening to your Shepherd?

“The word came to Jeremiah from the Lord after Nebuzaradan commander of the imperial guard had released him at Ramah. He had found Jeremiah bound in chains…today I am freeing you from the chains on your wrists. Come with me to Babylon, if you like, and I will look after you; but if you do not want to, then don’t come. Look, the whole country lies before you; go wherever you please.” Gedaliah…took an oath to reassure them and their men. “Do not be afraid to serve the Babylonians,” he said. “Settle down in the land and serve the king of Babylon, and it will go well with you…they all came back to the land of Judah…from all the countries where they had been scattered. And they harvested an abundance of wine and summer fruit.” Jeremiah 40:1-12

Ultimately, doubt is simply a divide between the present and the future. It is a space yet unseen and a road yet traveled. But before long, time passes and the present becomes the past. As we face uncertainty in the present moment about the road ahead, we can be strengthened by remembering how faithful God has been.

Like Jeremiah experienced here, Jesus has freed us from chains. He has taken away our shame. He has given us new life and gives us the power to choose how we will live. Jeremiah is told to travel in whichever direction he would like. We are told the same thing.

Have you taken the time to think about where you want to end up? What would you like your legacy to be? What we learn from this chapter is that having a vision will help direct our steps. If you want to end up with deep intimacy with God, then let Jesus be your way, your truth, and your life. If you do not know where you want to go, any road will take you there.

If you are unsure of the answer, perhaps it is time to lean on God’s word. Jesus said He wants to take you to a place of abundance. Gedaliah says the same thing in this passage. He says plant yourself, sow seeds, be rooted, and reap the harvest. God does not ever want to lead you to a place of scarcity where you barely get by. The word says He is an abundant God and has plans for you to prosper.

“Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” “Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked. “I am Jesus…Now get up and go…he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, “Ananias!” “Yes, Lord,” he answered. The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. “Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your holy people in Jerusalem…the Lord said, Go! This man is my chosen instrument…Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus…has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again…In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha…she was always doing good and helping the poor. About that time she became sick and died…Turning toward the dead woman, he said, “Tabitha, get up.” She opened her eyes, and seeing Peter she sat up. He took her by the hand and helped her to her feet.“ Acts 9:1-41

Can you imagine being Ananias? You are relaxing in your home and God gives you a vision to go and pray for the very person who has persecuted you? If this were a jury trial, Ananias knows beyond reasonable doubt that Saul is bad news and has authority to arrest him. What do Ananias’ actions in the midst of extreme doubt tell us about his heart?

What do your actions say about your heart? Would you listen to God and go, or would you spend all night rationalizing why it is not logical to leave? There will always be a tension as a disciple because we follow Jesus without knowing the full plan. God tests our hearts by forcing us to trust Him.

A person could argue that each of us Gentiles owes the gift of hearing the good news in some way to Ananias’ decision to take a step of faith in the midst of doubt. His one act of faithfulness and bold prayer for the Holy Spirit to come upon the man who had hated the believers changed the course of human history. What could one act of obedience do in your life? Where is God calling you to trust Him or take a step of faith?

Like we heard in Song of Songs, Peter showed that love is stronger than death. If ever there was a situation to doubt, it was when staring death in the face. Tabitha was dead. The nail was not quite in the coffin, but the coffin had been ordered.

Peter did not let what he saw make him blind to what God could do in that moment. How often do we blind ourselves by letting what we see keep us from believing boldly? Jesus said blessed are you who believe and yet do not see. Peter did not rely on his own strength or worry about what others would think. When faced with a decision about what to do with doubt, he prayed. He believed. He did what he knew to do and trusted that God would show up.

In our lives, the question is not whether we will doubt. The question is what we will do with doubt. Will we let fear and worry fill the space between what we see and what we think might happen, or will we lift our eyes to heaven and move forward with expectation, trusting in the faithfulness of God?

Hanun allowed fear to keep him from being friends with David. In a beautiful contrast, like Jesus calls us to live, Ananias made friends with his enemy. There is nothing wrong with taking your time when making a decision, and you will undoubtedly have many times when doubt dominates the moment. But doubt should never stop us from doing what love requires or going where God calls us. So when you cannot see the outcome, lean on your Beloved like the bride, listen for His voice, remember His faithfulness, and do the next loving thing you know to do. Lift your eyes. Take the step. Expect God to move. The God who has been faithful all our lives will be faithful until we stand face to face in heaven.